Thank you to my new patients and the Visions staff for such a warm welcome. I am excited to be joining Visions and look forward to building my practice with such like minded professionals and a team of caring individuals.
I so love this Gregorian chant that I named my press for it. Dona Nobis Pacem (DOH nah NO beece PA chem) is a phrase from the Agnus Dei (Lamb of God) section of the Roman Catholicmass. It was set as a separate, final movement in Bach’sMass in B Minor.
The actual words mean …
Grant Us Peace.
Many composers and singers have used this simple round in their work. I find that using the words in Latin resonate deeply for me. It’s especially useful when dealing with group situations that can get agitated or uncomfortable. In those cases, I repeat the words under my breath.
I believe that peace is the one desire that is common to all beings in all galaxies at all times. When we claim it for ourselves as well as others, we serve the Highest Good for all concerned in the world. Holding a vision for everyone makes our manifestation of it come more quickly. What we want to give to others freely becomes ours.
Peace offerings are outlined in the Hebrew Bible’s Book of Leviticus, Chapter 3, as part of the Jewish Law. Interestingly, biblical commentators make one universal distinction about peace offerings: they must be given freely.
A peace offering was a spontaneous gift to the Temple Priests because of gratitude. Something good came to the giver and the giver was moved to show his or her gratitude.
This is similar to the Passing of the Peace or Kiss of Peace used nowadays in Christian churches.
The words are …
Peace be unto you.
The response is …
And also with you.
Over the years, I began to use this principle to offer peace to those I saw who lacked it.
When I notice people who are frustrated, sad, blue or in other difficulties of the human condition, I speak these words silently to them …
I offer you my peace.
These words are a variation on some alleged to Jesus of Nazareth from the Book of John 14:27.
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
My peace may not be much but it’s more than I’m seeing in the moment, and it always, always calms the situation when someone offers peace.
I’m going to suggest we use our powerful words. Success or failure generally depends on how hard and how effectively we work. I would assert that how we think of things can determine our feelings of success or failure.
So let’s talk about food.
Every week a patient tells me that he/she has “cheated on their diet”. Here is what I have to say about that statement!
1. Who feels proud of themselves for cheating?
2. “Diet” is a terrible word. Ever noticed that the first three letters of it spell “DIE”? That is hardly inspiring. In addition, the word “diet” implies a temporary change, as opposed to a new baseline or permanent way of eating.
The patients who say this to me are individuals who are allergic to certain foods and have been advised, for health reasons, to refrain from eating these foods (the most common allergens are wheat, soy or cow’s milk dairy). In addition, these patients often have a pronounced, and negative reaction when they do eat products containing these items.
So, how can an allergy be considered a temporary state, and who would want to eat something that makes them sick?
I say it is due to the words we use.
So let’s use words that make us feel more powerful!
Of course I have suggestions!
Instead of: “I cheated on my diet”, substitute: “That food is poison to me, and I refuse to poison my body.”
Instead of: “I can’t eat my favorite foods anymore”, substitute: “I don’t eat that; I feel sick when I do.” or “I used to love eating that, but don’t miss how I felt when I did.”
Instead of: “How will I eat now?, substitute: “I’m so happy I found out what is making me sick, so I can avoid it!”
Words and thoughts matter, and can often be the line between success and failure, suffering and freedom.
So another invitation: take it on, make up your own.
Cheating and suffering will be there if you miss them!
This practice is based on a quote from the Christian Scripture in the Christmas story from the Book of Luke 4:12. The quote reads …
And on Earth peace; goodwill toward all …
Know what this means? It is definitely a wish for peace for the entire earth, but it’s also a prescription for how to get there.
Want peace on Earth? Great.
Intend goodwill toward all beings.
Here’s the catch: No exceptions. It’s goodwill toward all; not, goodwill toward all except!
There’s another way to look at these words that delights me. Consider this:
OnEarth (1 Earth) Peace
I love the idea that my friend Michael By-ers used to sing in one of his songs … I paraphrase here … there are no borders on earth from space.
It’s true, you know. We’ve only been given one planet to live on, and it’s up to us to keep it livable. One of the easiest ways to do that is to pray, affirm, believe and act as if our one earth has peace.
The Health Navigator Recommends Reading… Joyce Strong, RN, BSN, Licensed Wellcoach
Creating Your Best Life: The Ultimate Life List Guide, Caroline Adams Miller, MAPP & Dr. Michael B. Frisch, Sterling Publishing Co., 2009
Contents:
Why Life Lists Matter
Creating Your Best Possible Life List
Personalizing Your Goals in Sixteen Life Spheres
Savoring the Wins
Achieve clear-cut goals with this motivational book with teeth based upon the latest scientific research on happiness and change theory. Learn to set goals. Discover the relationship between what you do and the outcome. Increase your self-efficacy and develop a can-do attitude. Learn optimism by asking three questions: 1) Is the setback temporary or will its effects plague you forever? 2) Does the setback pertain to one or two things rather than everything? 3) Are you alone responsible for the setback or were there other factors involved such as time, people or resources?
This easy-to-read resource will help guide you, step by step, on a path to energize your dreams, enhance your well-being and help you define and develop the specific qualities needed for success.
Realize your resilience, celebrate your wins and embrace the multiple benefits of exercising self control through the many useful exercises and worksheets included in this book.
Enjoy the quotes and take-aways from each lesson as you discover your own body, mind and soul goals, consider risks that pay off, watch the company you keep and prepare for hitting the speed bumps all in the service of creating your best life.
Go and create a great life… and take this book with you to refer to when you need it.
OK, last blog I told you to start complaining, and now I tell you to stop…what gives?
It’s this.
In the physical realm, to ignore or suffer with your complaints is tragic, because, by and large, at Visions Medical Center, we can improve them.
But in the emotional realm, the access to power, the bridge to forgiveness does NOT lie in a complaint.
Believe me, I know how satisfying it is to complain!
I know how good it feels to know, deep inside, that you are right, and that person (about whom you are complaining) is wrong, and foolish to boot.
Except that being right, and complaining, keeps you small. And stuck. And agitated.
So here is my challenge to you.
See if you can come up with at least one reason to be grateful to that person.
I’ll give you an example.
There is someone associated with my family with whom I would be happy never to interact with again. But…it doesn’t look like that is going to happen any time soon. After a year of complaining bitterly, I had one of those…moments.
In that moment, I realized a number of things.
1. This situation is not worth the energy I have put towards it.
2. I cannot change anyone but myself.
3. There must be some lesson here that I am missing.
So I began to explore. What could it be?
Here is what I saw: I found two lessons.
This person has provided me with an opportunity to be gracious in the face of rudeness (and I get to practice frequently!)
My entire life I have tried to preserve certain relationships, at great cost to my integrity. I saw, in this breakdown, that simply preserving these relationships was no longer sufficient, and that the state of them did not work for me.
And since no one else was looking out for me, perhaps it was time to look out for myself and do what would work for me?
I cannot describe the freedom that taking on these thoughts has brought me. I also cannot describe the peace.
It has transformed something that I used to think about on a daily basis (5 times a day? 10?) into on that I rarely think about, freeing up so much mental end energetic space!
I invite you to try it for yourself.
No harm, no foul, right?
You can always go back to your complaint if you don’t like the freedom!
May I recommend a few random relationship resources for your leisurely further perusal?
The Hard Questions: 100 Questions to Ask Before You Say “I Do” by Susan Piver
Making Peace with your Parents by Harold Bloomfield, M. D.
Kabbalah: A Love Story by Rabbi Lawrence Kushner
The Outlander Books by Diana Gabaldon
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix
If I had to advise anyone about relationships, it would be very simple. Keep experimenting till you find forms that work for you. Every time the form you’re using gets stale, seek—and find—another one!
This is the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi. There are many popular versions of it, but this is the most common. I use it when I can’t see peace in a given situation, or when I’m not sure of what my role in a situation might be.
“Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
Where there is sadness, joy
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
To be understood, as to understand
To be loved, as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.”
I think these words make an especially good meditation in situations where you are unsure. It reminds us that, no matter the circumstances, we have a choice about what to bring to them. If we can only remember this tiny fact, we are free to see and be the best in all situations.